Not Looking Back

Not looking back, but looking down the hill. This is the most I have written in years. And while I am super judgmental about each word my fingers have typed, I typed them. And that feels really good. They moved across the screen and I stopped just talking about it. I formed a slight habit. Albeit a habit that makes me extremely anxious, non-social, forces procrastination, but that waste of time does get my apartment rather clean.

At the halfway point, I’ve figured out the structure or at least a temporary structure for the first half and three-quarters of the novel. That feels slightly better than not having a plan. (I like a planned trajectory, I like to know what’s going to happen next — even if I do not want the reader to know.) My characters feel like they are making some sort of progress even if the type of change wasn’t what I wanted.

Just delete that paragraph later…or chapter.

And I have a bit of a plan for my December. I’m going to take a little break from my characters once I get there. Once past 50,000 words, I’m going to let the words settle and give myself time till the new year to look at them again. I always like a little distance between people to figure them out. But, I want to keep on writing. I’m going to keep the same goal of 2,000 words per day. Not about the novel though. I’m going to stay away from it. Stay away from reading it. Stay away from judging it. Giving it time to breathe.

Also, I’m going to allow myself to read and force myself to read a new book each week. For December till I don’t know when, because if I only go till January that’s like 4 books, which is not impressive at all.  I read multiple books at a time. But I’m planning to read in December with all the professor instilled note taking, analysis, author research, inner margin note taking, and reviews that I plan on writing for each. So deep diving reading, not just the wishy-washy pick up a book read a few hundred pages here and there. I’m going to pick four books and read them, even if I don’t I like where they are going. Whether or not they really have characters I find interesting. Even if they are long. Or boring. And I’m going to write about them. With the notes that I take about them.

I haven’t decided what to read yet. More research is necessary. What do college kids read now? Time to stalk curriculums…

Me the last time I tried to read Ulysses