So I've made a commitment to myself, for myself and by myself to write 50,000 words in one month and a blog post a day. I've allowed that blog post to be either a string of sentences, a quote from a famous author (and why I am interested it it), a review of a movie, a recipe I've made, a discussion about sports or politics, or a photograph – painting or story. I'm not going to use this blog to discuss the other portion of my life, technology. I'm currently trying to draw a chasm between the two. Today for the first time in probably 5 years I sat down and wrote for 3 hours. It's crappy trash, and I've never felt so awful about a string of sentences, but I wrote. I did it, I wrote my 2000 words, I didn't overly edit and I didn't stop to fix it. It's just going. I'd tried to set aside time to come up with an outline or characters. But instead I just did the character sketches this morning, and I wrote about the characters I just created. They aren't really based off of people I know but their ripples. Like after you throw a stone in a pond, just glimpses of people that I know. Its liberating, its also frightening, because I'm writing in a cave. And right now it feels like each new area of the novel are different stories, and they are fighting for superiority.
In addition, I have a lot of fear and shame attached to writing. It creates a lot of exposure that I have not allowed myself to experience or take part in. Since college, I have really not let myself become near to too many people. The closest people in my life are my husband and my sister, and then our families. I really have not allowed a lot of people into my life.
I'm proud that I have done one day so far. Hoping that I can write faster tomorrow, as 2 hours to just get down character sketches will make me a little crazy. 9-12 is a little too long to write for.